I just had a phone-check in with my therapist. I texted her saying that i was feeling rage and felt dangerous. I meant “dangerous” in a good way. Not in the hop-to, avoid casualties, therapist-sit-up-and-take-fucking-notice way.
While chatting she asked if i felt scared. Hell no. I feel RIGHTEOUS. and a bit uncomfortable. She said “Alicia, you have a lot of good reasons to be angry. A lot.”
I’m thinking that this anger is mainly because i’m coming out from under the heavy depression blanket i’ve been under. I’ve been so buried under it that i haven’t been feeling. All i’ve been able to feel has been down and/or anxious. This has probably been going on for years, now i don’t know how to deal with real emotions and they are allasudden right here. I’m thinking about the depression i’ve been living with as a mental health version of walking pneumonia. I’ve been living and feeling and caring; but only partially and didn’t realize it at the time.
get a journal, alicia 